After me taking a week off last week to go on excursion and lay the foundations for some potential lucrative international business deals, it’s time for me to make my return to watching WWE TV. I missed ChazzWozzers and Raw of last week, but WWE were kind enough to put on a bit of a rerun for me this week. Apparently all I missed is Nikki Bella is a bitch now, and Lashley is a heel, like I called for within weeks of him debuting. Anyway, let’s jump in and catch up on the action…
We kick off the show with the Dogs of War, Braun, Dolph & Drew, coming down to the ring. There’s graphics saying Dolph will face Dean Ambrose and Drew will face Seth Rollins, with the winners going to the World Cup at “The Greatest King of the Ring”. They talk shite, and there’s a bit of tension between Dolph & Drew over who’s better. Eventually two-thirds of the Shield come out, but there’s no Ambrose.
Dolph & Drew go on about how Dean is missing, and Dolph says he’ll take a walkover if necessary. More trashtalking and dick-measuring over who has what titles, and Seth says he and Drew will have their qualifying match right now! 10 minutes to get to this point.
Early on in the match we get a reminder of the 4 men already qualified, and turns out they’re all Americans, so it doesn’t look good for Drew. There was some interference by Dolph, and the match was well worth a watch even though we’ve seen it before, but eventually Ambrose shows up to even the odds. Seth then hits a Curb Stomp on Drew on the outside, and rolls back in to get the countout win. Afterwards they tease more tension between Dean and the boys backstage. Will they just hurry up and progress the damn storyline somehow…
Later in the night Dean faced Dolph for the 100th time in their careers (probably). There was more interference, and in the end Dean shoved Rollins, then slides into the ring and eats a Superkick, so Dolph goes on to the World Cup. The Shield all argue on the ramp, and Corbin comes out to make a match between them and the Dogs of War. 3 times in 9 days… Jesus Christ!
The main event was the aforementioned 6-man tag match. The commentators go on about the apparent tension in the Shield. BattlePooches were having some issues deciding who starts the match, but Braun Strowman gets in Dolphs face and orders him to start the match and show him something. Shield control things early, until Dolph pushes Seth into Dean, and there’s a bit of a staredown. Reigns tags in and Ziggler gets a near fall on him.
Drew gets laid out by Roman, and Braun tags in and splashes Roman. He tells Drew that’s how it’s done, and Drew tags himself in and they bicker a bit. Roman knocks Braun off his feet, but before he can make a tag ZigIntyre take out Seth & Dean. They hit a ClayZag on Roman, but the Shield make the save.
Stereo suicide dives from Seth & Dean onto ZigIntyre, and they try the same on Braun but get caught, until Roman Superman Punches him and lays him out. Dean hits a Dirty Deeds on Drew, but Dolph pushes Seth onto him to break it up. They argue and Dean goes for Dirty Deeds but it’s blocked. Dolph with a ZigZag on Dean for a 2 count.
Superman Punches for everyone, Braun misses a shoulder block in the corner on Roman, and Roman moves out of the way of a Claymore, making Drew hit Braun instead. Spear to Drew, Triple Powerbomb to Dolph, and the Shield get the win.
After the match Braun says Dolph screwed up, so he’s gotta get these hands… or a Powerslam! As Braun gets to his feet he turns right into another Claymore from Drew! DAMN! Drew marches up the ramp and he and Braun have a staredown as we go off the air.
We get a bit of a recap of last week where DX reunited on Raw. The recaps were actually useful for me for once, after not watching last week.Then we get a video package where Undertaker & Kane are walking through red & purple lit corridors. They talk about respect, and go on about how HBK stayed retired out of fear. They claim he was worried about what Undertaker could do to him.
Apparently at Crown Jewel, all HBKs fears will come true. HHH may have won the battle in Australia, but he started a war. After Crown Jewel, HHH will retreat back to the boardroom, and HBK will retreat back to the safety of retirement. DX may have had 3 words last week, but the Brothers of Destruction have 3 word this week: Rest, in, Peace! Decent promo, but couldn’t give a shite about this.
We get a recap video (again useful for me) of last week, where the Bella Twins turned on Ronda Rousey. According to WWE’s Twitter this is the 5th worst betrayal in WWE history (GET FUCKED). Anywho, we’re going to hear from Ronda tonight. We also see a story from Admiral Satin’s buddies in TMZ about it, where Ronda calls them bitches… riveting stuff!
Ronda reminds us again that they betrayed her, and she said she just wants an answer as to why. Titty & Shitty Bella are at least nice enough to come out and address her directly. Nikki says some shite about how nobody paid to see Ronda, they all wanted to see the Bellas. Then Brie gets on the mic and shrieks about how Ronda disrespected them and everything they done for the business… I know this is a heel promo, but who wrote this shite? Apparently it made them cringe to see Ronda at the forefront of the Evolution. She never deserved a title match, and doesn’t deserve to be champ, apparently. Nikki then reminds us that they made the word “Diva” mean something, and they made it so that more women and girls are in the crowd every week. I’m sure the former-NXT women would have something to say about that.
Ronda says she tried her best to be respectful, as it was their territory first. She says everything the term “Diva” stood for turned her stomach, but she wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. So when they ran up to her after her Wrestlemania debut, she thought they could pursue the same goal together, but that was her mistake and naive. They’re the embodiment of a stereotype: DNB’s, Do Nothing Bellas.
Ronda goes on to say they were only there because there was a camera, and it was desperate. The only thing that impresses her is how far they’ve got with such minimal talent, and they leech off their men. She calls them relics of the past, and they know she could rip their arms off and beat them, and she will ruin them.
Brie says the word “Bella” done more last week then she done in her career. Nikki says they’ve knocked down barriers and knocked down doors their whole career. Ronda says she’s knocked down doors everywhere; judo, Strikeforce, UFC, and now in WWE. The only door Nikki ever knocked down was the door to John Cena’s bedroom…. FUCKING YES! Huge pop from the crowd. “And he eventually threw you out that exact same door”. Sweet Jesus!
NIkki then shakes her arse to summon security guards, because empowerment and stuff. Ronda lays out all the “security” as the Bellas retreat, and Ronda stands tall as we end the segment.
Another week, another mixed bag on Raw really. I honestly feel like I missed nothing last week. The main event was a good match and it was good to see some progression in this storyline at least. There’s more merch money in keeping the Shield together for now, and this is foreshadowing a future Drew push, which I’m looking forward to
However there are more negatives than positives. The “World Cup” now has 6 Americans in it, despite them having the most diverse roster ever. Also Finn Balor is doing nothing, there’s another week with no Revival, and all the titles are tied up in the main storyline.
Regarding Evolution, let’s run through what we’ve got: A tag match featuring 2 Hall of Famers vs 2 active performers, where the promos have been terrible. A battle royal where the winner gets a title shot (love the prize, but not that this will be used to just give people something to do rather than book people for it properly). And a match between Ronda Rousey & Nikki Bella that is apparently going to headline the event, despite Becky Lynch tearing it up on Smackdown every week.
Why not use this to have some cross-brand singles matches, like Ember-Asuka 3? And maybe have some NXT vs Raw/Smackdown matches, like Dakota Kai vs Bayley, and leave these women showcase what they can do. Or just give us Sasha vs Bayley again!
Seth Rollins def Drew McIntyre
Dolph Ziggler def Dean Ambrose
Finn Balor def Jinder Mahal
Lashley def Tyler Breeze
Natalya def Ruby Riott (DQ)
Ember Moon & Nia Jax def Dana Brooke & Tamina
The Shield def Dogs of War
While you’re here, make sure to check out ‘The Alleged Wrestling Podcast’ where we have the craic looking back over the wrestling events of the past week! (It’s also on iTunes, Google Podcasts and Stitcher and all those nice things)
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