We’re fresh off Extreme Rules where on the blue brand, we got a new US champ in Shinsuke Nakamura and a returning heel Randy Orton. Other than that, it’s business as usual as we were. And AJ still didn’t get to main event a PPV as champ. They put the IC title ahead of him. It really shows where they view Smackdown in relation to Raw at the moment. Just wait for those sweet sweet Fox bucks to start coming through though. It will all change then. Anyway, onto this week’s show.
Jeff Hardy cashed in his rematch clause for the US title and also opened up the show this week. He said that he may look like Jeff Hardy, wear face paint like Jeff Hardy and make his entrance like Jeff Hardy but he does not feel like Jeff Hardy. Something is missing. He feels incomplete. His heart is BROKEN (opens eyes). Jeff says that Shinsuke lacks ethics, a conscience and a code of honor. And that’s a fancy way to say that he’s a low down, good for nothing jackass, eeeaaaawww (yes, he did the donkey noise). Jeff says that a low blow is only way that Shinsuke could beat him and now Jeff is focused on 3 things:
Half Brother Nero, maybe 2nd cousin Nero is upon us ladies and gentlemen. Not quite fully there yet. Naks watches from the back. Renee interviews him and he says that Jeff is a sad clown. Now it’s Shins title. That is a reason to smile. Tonight he will give everyone a reason to smile by making a clown cry again. “God Bless America”. What a proud American patriot Shinsuke Nakamura is.
In the match, Nakamura teased a low blow early on. Pretty damn good match which ended when Jeff hit the not safe Swanton Bomb but Randy Orton came outta nowhere and pulled Jeff out of the ring before he could make the pin causing the DQ. Randy then proceeded to throw Jeff into the steps and stomped his head on there too. He then told Jeff: “You wanna know why? You’re gonna have to wait to find out.” So we’re playing the long game here. Randy then grabs Jeff by the massive ear hole and starts dragging him around. This is not a sexual reference, I swear. It looked properly nasty though. He finished him off with an Elevated DDT from the announce table to the floor. I’m loving uber bastard Randy Orton again. It’s been too long. All we need now is some punts.
In a match announced earlier in the day based on a .com interaction between AJ Styles and Zelina Vega, AJ Styles took on Andrade `Cien` Almas in a non title match. This was Almas’s coming out party on the main roster. He looked fantastic here. Almas almost won on a couple of occasions including after a double foot stomp and a running knees in the corner. All in all a fantastic opening match for the show and it pull Almas on the map. He’ll be a title contender soon I’d say. Almas ended up tapping out to the Calf Crusher in the first of many submission finishes on the show.
Speaking of submission victories, Becky Lynch continued her trend of tapping out all the women on Smackdown Live this week with a submission win over Mandy Rose. After the match, Becky cut a promo saying that she had been patiently waiting and biding her time. She took Carmella that Straight Fire is coming for ya. It’s about time Becky Balbao became women’s champ again.
We then saw Paige in the back with Carmella who informed us that Ellsworth is not her boyfriend. She also informed us that she beat Charlotte Flair twice and now she has beaten Asuka twice too. Paige told her she will throw her a Mellabration if she wins her match against Becky next week. But if Becky wins, she gets a title shot at Summerslam. Beat the champ to face the champ, I hate that. It makes no sense. But the rest of the show was good so I’ll leave it go for now.
Miz held a Eulogy for the demise of Team Hell No. He was somber on his entrance all dressed in black. Pallbearers wheeled out Kane’s mask on a pillow. Miz shook people’s hands at ringside to say he was sorry for their loss. Of course he plugged Miz and Mrs immediately. But then, in the words of Kane’s favourite musical act “N-Synch” (as he pronounced it), it’s now time to say Bye Bye Bye to Team Hell No. Miz makes everyone stand up and honour them in a moment of silence. before declaring one final thing, I told you so. He claims that Daniel Bryan is nothing more than a gloryhound and the reason for the Team Hell No reunion was so Daniel could roll out his greatest hits but nobody is buying the album. The truth is that Daniel’s return from injury has been a bust and it’s destroying his legacy. His career is dead.
Daniel Bryan’s music then hits and the pallbearers take off their suit jackets and get ready to fight. It’s almost as if they weren’t pallbearers at all. As they face the ramp, Daniel comes through the crowd and attacks The Miz from behind. Miz manages to escape after a little bit and Daniel goes to town on the pallbearers instead. it looks like we are getting the Miz/Bryan match at Summerslam so.
Kofi Kingston and Eric Young followed up Subday’s Tables match with na singles match this week on Smackdown Live. Before the match, New Day had some nice Always Sunny in Philadelphia references saying that they would take out the trash like Danny Devito and leaving flapping their wings like the Birds of Prey.
Before the match started, everyone watching at home had to recover from the seizures they got watching SAnitY’s entrance. There were 18 camera cuts along with the shaky cam. Bathrooms everywhere had queues of people vomiting. Oh, it was a sight to behold. In the match, Kofi dived over the ref to land on SAnitY on the outside but Young managed to get the win after Dain threw Woods into Kofi as he was being thrown into the ropes by Young. Young then followed up with a Wheelbarrow Neckbreaker for the win.
Really good Smackdown this week. They are picking things back up again ramping up to Summerslam. Pretty much every segment this week worked, made sense and was entertaining. That’s what you want from your wrestling show. Good pace to the show too. No real lulls. I don’t have anything bad to say except for the seizures and the whole beat the champ to face the champ thing but look, I’ll get over that if we are getting good stuff like this every week. Keep it up guys. Please. Please keep it up. I breg you.
AJ Styles def. Andrade `Cien` Almas by submission
Becky Lynch def. Mandy Rose by submission
Samoa Joe def. Tye Dillinger by submission
Eric Young def. Kofi Kingston by pinfall
Jeff Hardy def. Shinsuke Nakamura by DQ
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