Paul Pogba Now Free To Dance And Get Haircuts


After a phenomenal performance in the World Cup Final against a stubborn Croatian side the British Home Office has decreed that Paul Pogba may now dance. He is also now legally entitled to get haircuts of any description.

Sounessian Law had previously dictated that the Manchester United midfielder may not express himself in any way, despite winning trophies at the club. However, the law was overturned this Sunday after United legend Roy Keane had his say on the matter.

“I don’t mind Pogba dancing now. He’s entitled to have a dance there. He can do whatever the hell he wants with his hair.” – Roy Keane

Lawmakers sprang into action to overturn “Sounesses Law” introduced in 2016 after Roy Keane’s words.

Floss That Dab And Such

Paul Pogba returns to Manchester a World Champion, dabbing all the way home. First with the left arm, then with the right as he juggles the World Cup trophy between alterations in his moves.

His next haircut is expected to pay homage to the French unbeaten run to World Cup glory. Each goal scorer will have his name spelled out around the sides of Pogba’s head. The top will be shaped into a replica of the former Jules Rimet Trophy. It is also expected that Paul will put a little flag on the top with a message to Mr. Souness. Speculation is rampant but it is believed to be a replica of the below image.

Mr. Souness is said to be “seething” and is planning to be even more of an arsehole on TV next season. Sources tell us that Souness won a tenner at Bingo this afternoon. Paul Pogba won the World Cup.

Steven Murphy
2Bit Sports Co-Founder. Junior Vice President of Corporate Affairs, Creative, Live Events but also Third floor Janitor. Gaming Editor, Manchester United loudmouth. Whatever I am actually employed to do I probably did it earlier. It's on your desk, I'd say. Its safe to say that I call 'em as I see 'em. Be warned, I hate a lot of things. It's easier to count the things that I do like. I probably hate you.

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