Talking Smack – WWE Smackdown (not so) Live – 15th May 2018

Smackdown Live 15 05

This week’s Smackdown “Live” comes from London, England and was recorded earlier in the day so don’t be expecting any surprises or anything. They usually give London a decent show though so we will hopefully get some good quality action. During Raw, they advertised a match between Nakamura and Styles for this show. But also didn’t. As it was announced for MITB on social media instead. It was all very confusing so I don’t know what we are actually getting here except for the Royal ‘Mellabration which I’m sure we are all ecstatic for.

Match Stipulations and Bad Vibrations

So we actually are getting Nakamura vs Styles tonight. It’s going to be Non Title and the winner picks the stipulation for their title match at Money in the Bank. STOP DOING THE MATCH BEFORE THE MATCH!!! Although when this is the 4th match between them in just over 2 months, is it really spoiling the match here?

Before the match, both AJ and Shinsuke have backstage interviews with Renee Young.  AJ suggests a Bullrope Hell in a Cell Inferno match for his stipulation and says that he will teach Shinsuke the International Language of Forearm to Face. Renee asked Shinsuke how he felt about his chances. Shinsuke asked what “chances” meant. He then followed this up by telling her that she was using the wrong word. the correct word was “certainty”. See, he still knows English, the sly bastard.

Nope, nothing happening over here. Is that Jackie Chan?

The match itself was very good. As you would expect. Probably the best of the 4 they have had in WWE so far. The finishing sequence went as follows: Nakamura hit a Kinshasa, AJ kicked out (Nakamura didn’t do the full setup so crowd didn’t react to the kickout). Goes for it again, AJ counters with a Heel Kick. AJ goes for Phenomenal Forearm, Nakamura moves, AJ almost hits the ref. While the ref was looking away, Shinsuke pretends that AJ hit him in the dick. The Dick Assassin is the master of all things Dick related. This distraction leads to a Reverse Exploder, a Kinshasa, and a win.

Will MITB be the finale of the rivalry? It’s now got a Stipulation. We aren’t told what that is yet though. Maybe next week? Or an anti-climactic social media post? They love doing those.

 

First You Get the Win, Then You Get The Moneyyy (In The Bank)

We had 2 MITB Qualifying matches this week on Smackdown (not so) Live. One for the men and one for the women.

First up, the Bar took on the New Day in a tag team match (playa). The Miz was on commentary for the match and really hyped up all the guys. We had a small do do do do do Sheamus and Cesaro chant and then a “We Want Pancakes” one. We were asked if The Bar could “knock off” the New Day? Check out our article on WWE Buzzwords for what we think about that. Miz says that Woods has been on fire recently. Does that mean that he so hot right now? What about Seth Rollins? I thought he was the one that is hot right now?

I’ll just grab the briefcases now.

The New Day picked up the win after Big E speared Sheamus through the ropes and Woods hit the Springboard Elbow Drop on Cesaro. This means that one of the New Day will be involved in the MITB match. But who? Who? Who? We aren’t told so we’ll find out next week too I guess?

Female Ladder Climbing Enthusiasts

The other qualifying match was for the women and it had a bit of setup. Paige was chatting on the phone in her office when her old cronies walked in. Mandy Rose reckoned she should be in the match after her win last week but Paige says that wasn’t a qualifying match. But tonight, she will have one. It will be a Triple Threat match where Mandy Rose will take on his bessie mate Sonya Deville along with Becky Lynch.

I’ll have what she’s having

In the match itself, the former members of Absolution team up at the start, then Mandy tries to steal a pin and that was the end of that. Mandy hit her finisher (which I don’t think she has named yet, but it’s a Double Underhook Facebuster) on Becky. Sonya then threw Mandy out and got a 2 count on Becky.  Sonya went for a Superplex attempt but Mandy lifted her off on her shoulders and Becky hit Mandy with a Flying Dropkick which took out both of them. Mandy went for a running knee on Becky, but she avoided it and it hot Sonya. Becky then got Mandy in the Dis-Arm-Her for the win.

 

Bryan Beats (C) Ass

Renee Young was all over this show. She was interviewing Daniel Bryan in the ring. Scratch that, she was trying to interview Daniel Bryan. The fans were chanting for D-Bry too loudly and she had to stop. Once we were able to hear him, Daniel said that he was no longer happy with just being back, he wants to be on top and will be WWE champion again. There is then an awkward silence as Renee has no more questions and they are waiting for something to happen.

Big Cass loses a foot. Now he’s only 6 feet tall.

Shocking stuff, Big Cass’s music hits and out he comes. The crowd chant Who are ya?. Cass says that he was the reason that D-Bry lost to Rusev. I’m really not following his logic here. Did he teach himself to do that like he taught himself to grow? He then goes on to say that he tapped so he could get back up and beat down Daniel. He clearly doesn’t understand how matches work. Cass says that he’s going to keep beating Daniel down. Daniel won’t be able to anywhere without a 7 foot shadow following him. He says that Daniel should take his ball, go home, be a stay at home dad and let Brie wear the pants in the family.

Daniel then attacks, and beats the ever living shite out of him. He particularly targets the knee which he was out injured for so long because of. Referees try to break it up but D- Bry just keeps on beating that Cass.

 

 

 

Smacking the Other Bits Up

The Royal Wedding has a lot to live up to

 

 

  • The Royal ‘Mellabration: Carmella had her Royal ‘Mellabration this week. This consisted of a Town Cryer and some Beefeaters. Carmella berates everyone on the Raw and Smackdown rosters saying she’s better than them. Paige comes out to tell Mella who her opponent is for MITB. She will be going up against Asuka. Mella is not pleased.
  • We had a creepy promo from the Bludgeon Brother. Apparently Family is for the weak (ahem…Wyatt Family… cough). Friendship, joy, all bad too. The cure is to Bludgeon and times up.
  • Next week we have 2 MITB Qualifier matches in Samoa Joe vs Big Cass and Lana vs Billie Kay.
  • Andrade `Cien` Almas finally made his Smackdown debut. He took on some local talent in Jake Constantinou. Almas won with the Double Knees and a Hammerlock DDT. Zelina then got on the mic and said that they were expecting more than a local and were here to take over.

  • From a backstage Rusev Day segment, Lana and Aiden English seem all pally pally now so maybe they are dropping the “he’s holding you back” angle?
  • This was probably the totally legit copy I was watching and in issue with the feed being sent over to be aired but there was an awkward cutback from break with Paige in the ring. It looked like it was supposed to be for the live crowd, there was no commentary over it. She announced that there would be a US Title match, The Miz vs Jeff Hardy later tonight (This match never happened, must have been the dark match)

 

 

Match Results

MITB Qualifier:The New Day def. The Bar by pinfall
Andrade `Cien` Almas def. Jake Constantinou by pinfall
MITB Qualifier: Becky Lynch def. Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville by submission
Shinsuke Nakamura def. AJ Styles by pinfall

 

The Alleged Wrestling Podcast

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While you’re here, make sure to check out ‘The Alleged Wrestling Podcast’ where we have the craic looking back over the wrestling events of the past week! (It’s also on iTunes and Stitcher and all those nice things)

 

‘What?’ Weekly Wrestling Quiz

Fancy testing your wrestling knowledge, and proving you know more than your friends? Of course you do! Then you should check out our weekly wrestling quiz, posted every Friday (kinda). The latest quiz was our Wrestlemania quiz, and you can check it out here.

 

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About the Author: Nicky Bowe - Junior Executive Vice President of that feeling you get when you are walking alone at night and you're sure there's someone there. Nicky loves Wrestling, Video Games, Batman, General Nerdy Stuff, Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. He likes DDP Yoga and having half a brain. Quite fond of making love at midnight, doesn't need to be in the dune of a cape. If he's the author you are looking for, write to him and escape.

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