Going in Raw – WWE Raw – 7th May 2018

Raw 7th May

We’re fresh off the incredibly disappointing Backlash pay per view, where fans left in droves during the main event. What will WWE pull out of the bag this week to try steady the ship? Let’s jump straight into Raw to find out…

 

MONEY IN THE BANK SEASON

We kick off the show with Kurt Angle coming out to the ring. He announces it’s Money in the Bank season, and that we will have qualifying matches for them starting tonight. He worded in such a way that it sounded like there’s a men’s and women’s match on both show, so are we getting 4 MITB matches?

The first qualifying match for the men’s match is between Braun Strowman & Kevin Owens. It was a fairly competitive match and Owens looked great in it, but Braun smashed and Braun kill, so Braun is in Money in the Bank. He also done the Super Mario Star run thrice…. Poor Kevin!

“THE BIG DOG” Roman Reigns faced off against Finn Balor & Sami Zayn in the main event for a spot in Money in the Bank. Most of the early stages was Roman overpowering the 2 boys, until they team up against him, to huge cheers from the crowd. They fight up by the tech area in the crowd, and Sami Helluva Kicks Roman over a barrier. Balor climbs the barrier and hits a Coup de Grace to The Big Dog. Finn & Sami then had a terrific 5 minutes of action until Roman woke up and comes flying back in to shit on their party.

Roman goes for a Spear on Balor, but it’s countered into a SlingBlade. Balor misses a Coup De Grace and Roman hits a Superman Punch. Jinder Mahal interferes and trips Roman, distracting him long enough for Sami to hit a Helluva Kick. Balor then hits a dropkick on Zayn, followed by a Coup de Grace, and Finn qualifies for the match… wow!

 

WOMEN’S MONEY IN THE BANK

We kicked off the qualifying for the Women’s match by travelling to a different time zone apparently. This whole match ran on Boss Time, and Ruby was hoping to Riott before the Moon Eclipsed.

The match was really good, with Ruby controlling the majority of it, but everyone getting their usual spots in. Ember’s high flying offense is getting her over with the crowd nicely, and she’s looking like a star already. She hit a ridiculous suicide dive yet again (I’m calling it the best in the business right now, it’s that good). Sasha & Ruby start going back and forth. Riott Squad break up a near fall and attack Sasha. Bayley comes out to make the save.

Is there a more beautiful move in wrestling than the Eclipse? No, there is not…

Sasha tries to go for the Banks Statement on Ruby, but as Ruby is blocking it Ember comes off the top with the Eclipse “outta nowhere” for the win. Backstage afterwards Ember says she’s “over the moon” with her victory.

I want Ember to win the briefcase, then come out on Raw the next night and say she’s challenging the Women’s Champion at Wrestlemania next year. It’s something that has never been done and I’ve wanted to happen with the men’s MITB for years.

 

THE KINGSLAYER!

Seth Rollins decided to come out and cut a promo about his successful title defense against the Miz. He says Miz pushed him to his limit, but he Stomped out his dreams. He’s proud to be our IC champ, and he wants to be a fighting champion. His genius idea is to issue an open challenge, and the first to accept this challenge is Mojo Rawley.

The match went far longer than it should have, since it’s a Mojo match and should automatically never happen at all. Rollins gets the win to keep the title. It’s also during this match that I realised that I have played the same amount of competitive snaps in the NFL as Mojo, and that made me feel better about myself.

 

BOBBY LASHLEY SEGMENT FOR SUPERSTARS WHO DON’T WRESTLE GOOD, AND CAN’T DO OTHER STUFF GOOD TOO

My favourite person to hate had a ridiculously bad sitdown interview segment with Renee Young. He talked a load of shit about his relationship with his sisters, and says he’s blessed. Apparently the WWE Universe are now his extended family… Does this mean I can officially disown him?

Seriously failing to see the point of this. Are they trying to paint him as a good man, to whom family is everything? If so, could they not use Mike Kanellis for that? That guy has essentially turned his whole life around and kicked his problems with addiction for the sake of himself, his wife and his newborn daughter. That’s a true life story, and a man who is a much more talented in-ring competitor

 

RAW BYTES

  • The Island of Length became Woken, as Samael & Xenith faced off against the Miztourage. The Deleters of Worlds get the win with a double flatliner (can we call that the Flat Earth Principle?), but the commentary for this was hilarious.

  • No Way Jose & Titus Worldslide faced off against Baron Corbin & The Revival. Jose may love to have fun, but he didn’t have too much fun here. Corbin hits the End of Days on Uncertain Umberto for the win
  • Jinder Mahal defeated Chad Gable to 50/50 the hell out of their “feud”. After the match Jinder kept attacking Gable. I was expecting a former tag partner of Gable’s to make the save here, but apparently not.
  • Keeping the 50/50 theme going, Bobby Roode defeated Elias… moving swiftly on…

  • We had phone promos from the Ascension & Breezango about how they will win Money in the Bank – is there a tag team MITB match that hasn’t been announced yet?
  • Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre continued their hot streak by defeating Heath Slater & Rhyno. ZigIntyre continue to impress me with their chemistry and tag synergy.

 

RESULTS

Braun Strowman def Kevin Owens (MITB Qualifier)

Baron Corbin & Revival def Titus Worldwide & No Way Jose

Ember Moon def Ruby Riott & Sasha Banks (MITB Qualifier)

Jinder Mahal def Chad Gable

Dolph Ziggler & Drew McIntyre def Slater & Rhyno

Bobby Roode def Elias

Seth Rollins def Mojo Rawley

Deleters of Worlds def Miztourage

Finn Balor def Roman Reigns & Sami Zayn (MITB Qualifier)

 

 

The Alleged Wrestling Podcast

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While you’re here, make sure to check out ‘The Alleged Wrestling Podcast’ where we have the craic looking back over the wrestling events of the past week! (It’s also on iTunes and Stitcher and all those nice things)

 

‘What?’ Weekly Wrestling Quiz

Fancy testing your wrestling knowledge, and proving you know more than your friends? Of course you do! Then you should check out our weekly wrestling quiz, posted every Friday (kinda). The latest quiz was our Wrestlemania quiz, and you can check it out here.

 

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About the author: Mark Gordon - Junior Executive Vice President of Time Travel and Thermodynamics, Raw Reviewer & Liverpool fan - Gordo loves Wrestling, many types of football (American, Gaelic and Soccer), numerous other sports and Video Games. He also enjoys running through fields of wheat, and subscribes to the theory that there is a suitable Simpsons reference for every situation.

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