Talking Smack – WWE Smackdown Live – 1st May 2018

Smackdown Live 01 05

We’re fresh off the Oil Rumble where, let’s be honest, not that much happened. Still it was nice to watch wrestling live at a reasonable hour. And this is also the go home Smackdown for Backlash so it’s a weird week. We still haven’t settled down since the Superstar Shakeup so let’s get on with the last week of madness before things finally start to settle down…hopefully.


Hit Him In The Dick Saga

Paige opened the show (she’s finally there again) by addressing the AJ/Shinsuke situation. She said that the WWE Title match on Sunday at Backlash will be No Disqualification. So all the dick punches will be allowed. Shinsuke must be so happy.

Shinsuke apparently wanted AJ to apologise for his actions at the Oil Rumble where he attacked him after the match ended. So Renee conducted an interview with AJ in the ring where he had his change to apoligise. Spoiler: he doesn’t. AJ asks if Shinsuke is a con artist or a cheap shot artist. Cause of the Artist things. You see, he gets plays on words.  Styles says that he should have left Nakamura sucking sand in the Arabian desert. There’s a racist joke in there somewhere but it’s early in the morning. AJ says he won’t apologise.

WWE Photo

It was Shinsuke in the ring with the Forearm to the Professor Plums

Samoa Joe then comes out and the Montreal crowd (who were great by the way) start a TNA chant. Joe shuts it down pretty quickly. He says that AJ is focused on wrong match. He should be focused on Joe confirming that Roman is a failure. Why? Why would AJ be focuing on that. Surely he should be focusing on his own match. Which he is in. Joe says is coming for the winner of AJ/Shinsuke.

Nakamura’s music hits and the Dick Assassin appears in the ring with arm firmly positioned between AJ’s legs making bessie mates with the Colonel and his 2 picken’ poppin’ chickens. Shinsuke then attempts to Kinshasa the back of AJ’s head, but pulls out, lol, then does it to AJ’s face instead.


(upper?) Midcard Madness

In an amalgamation of the IC and US Title pictures, we had Miz TV with guest US Champ Jeff Hardy. The Miz had a stupid headband on. He must be trying to get in on the next Karate Kid movie. He talks about facing Seth on Sunday for the IC Title then introduces Jeff. They are letting Jeff talk. This can only end well. Miz asks Jeff if Miz is better than Seth. Jeff says he would have beat him at the rumble if he was. Oooooo, Burn.

Miz shows Jeff interrupting Randy from a few weeks ago and then announces that surprise, Randy is also a guest. Randy comes down and Miz tries to rile up the feud between the two of them but neither man is too bothered. Randy says they are cool. Miz brings up the Top 10 list again. Randy says nobody cares about the list. That is correct Randy. Well done. Orton says he’s gonna take his title back on Sunday.Jeff says he can try. Miz is pissed that they are being civil to each other.

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Shelton Benjamin then comes out and says Randy doesn’t deserve anything. He beat Randy last week so he should have the title shot (sorry, championship opportunity). Tries to attack but Randy and Jeff fight off Shelton and Miz. Hmm, I wonder what might happen here.

Back from break and in a shocking turn of events, we now have a tag team match, playa. The crowd are chanting, I have no idea what, sounds like French, but they are really into it so leave them off. Jeff and Randy get the win after an RKO and a Swanton Bomb. As soon as the bell rings, Randy RKOs Jeff. And that’s our midcard title build for Backlash.


The Females

To mix things up, and do something completely fresh that they have never done before, we had a 6 woman tag match as the main event of Smackdown. The IIconics teamed with Women’s champ Carmella to take on Charlotte, Becky Lynch and Asuka. To hype up this massive never before seen type main event, Peyton did a Renee impression, Carmella moonwalked, Becky compared their opponents to a garden of palm trees and Asuka compared their own team to the Avengers.

Grab her by the ….ahem…

The match itself was pretty good with Asuka picking up the victory by making Peyton tap out to the Asuka Lock. The losing streak is broken. And Asuka picks up her first Smackdown win. Thank god they are not going with a losing streak for Asuka. that would have been terrible.


Pancake Bar

The Bar and the New Da had a backstage segment where The Bar say that they always wanted to be on Smackdown despite everything they said last week. The New Day call for Mr Bootyworth (who is the NXT medic guy) to bring a platter of pancakes while Big E baby oils himself up. Cesaro throws the tray of pancakes and Sheamus issues a challenge. Big E accepts with all the intensity, so much goddamn intensity. Sheamus says he’s challenging Woods, not Big E.

Cesaro knocks Big E over using just the power of his bad breath

In the match, Sheamus dominates for most of it. Once Woods gets the upper hand, Cesaro tries to get involved causing the distraction. The rest of the New Day get involved at ringside. This leads to Xavier getting a Paul Smackage style win over Sheamus. (for people that don’t listen to E&C’s Pod of Awesomeness, that’s a small package)


Big Cass and Little Bryan

We got the news early on in the show that the doctors had not not cleared Daniel Bryan to compete tonight due to a possible chest infection. Big Cass came out later and said that New Yorkers are better than everybody. Some great promo skills there. The crowd started chanting something again. I think it was the same thing as they did earlier for The Miz. I still couldn’t understand it. Cass says he’s better than Daniel Bryan and this Sunday, we aren’t gonna get a 5 star match, we’ll get a 5 second match.

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The Infamous “uh huh kicks”

Cass challenges Daniel Bryan to a match right now instead. You know he’s not cleared, you big heelish bastard you. Bryan’s music hits and out comes a little person dressed as Daniel Bryan. It’s been a while since we’ve had one of these segments. Cass makes some short jokes as Little Daniel gives him Yes Kicks to the shins. Cass calls scene on it and introduces Montreal native Pierre Le Fleur who was playing Little Daniel before kicking him in the face. And scene…..



Smacking the Other Bits Up

  • We had a backstage clip of Rusev with Aiden English rehearsing a new Rusev Day song. Lana came along and asked for a moment alone with her husband. She is slowly dropping the Russian accent. Lana claimed that there is something holding Rusev back while looking at English. Dissension in the ranks. You can’t break up Rusev Day! But at the same time I want to see Rusev and Lana back together on TV. I’m so conflicted.
  • We get a clip of backstage last week where Absolution were making fun of Becky being Asuka’s sidekick. Becky says she will slap the heads off them. Later Mandy and Sonya are backstage chatting with Paige. Mandy thinks Paige is going to give one of them a title match. Paige tells them that nope, Mandy is going to face Becky Lynch next week. Paige then says Absolution is dead. Well it was a mystery.
  • We got another selfie promo for Andrade `Cien` Almas and Zelina Vega. Still no timeframe on when they will be up. I hope them versus Rusev and Lana will be the first feud. That will be awesome.


Show Synopsis

We had 3 matches on this 2 hour show. This is supposed to be the Wrestling show now, right? Raw entertainment, Smackdown wrestling. you wouldn’t know that from tonight’s show. 2 tag matches and a singles match. While the matches were good, this isn’t what I expected from the Smackdown. Maybe once all the interbrand matches are done and the shakeup finally takes effect next week, we might see some changes but honestly, I think it comes back to what we have been saying for quite a while now #FireRoadDogg.


Match Results

Jeff Hardy & Randy Orton def. Shelton Benjamin & The Miz by pinfall
Xavier Woods def. Sheamus by pinfall
Asuka, Becky Lynch & Charlotte def. Peyton Royce, Billie Kay & Carmella by submission



The Alleged Wrestling Podcast

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While you’re here, make sure to check out ‘The Alleged Wrestling Podcast’ where we have the craic looking back over the wrestling events of the past week! (It’s also on iTunes and Stitcher and all those nice things)


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About the Author: Nicky Bowe - Junior Executive Vice President of that feeling you get when you are walking alone at night and you're sure there's someone there. Nicky loves Wrestling, Video Games, Batman, General Nerdy Stuff, Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. He likes DDP Yoga and having half a brain. Quite fond of making love at midnight, doesn't need to be in the dune of a cape. If he's the author you are looking for, write to him and escape.

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