Talking Smack – WWE Smackdown Live – 17th April 2018

Smackdown Live 17 04

It’s night 2 of the Superstar Shakeup. We’ve lost a lot of people from Smackdown and so far only gained a Miz. Who else will join him on the Blue Brand? Which storylines will progress? Which ones will end? Let’s find out.

 

AJ Doesn’t Like Being Hit In The Dick

It’s really painful.

AJ Styles opens the show letting us know that Shinsuke Nakamura is not just an artist, he’s a con artist. He’s the King of Strong Style too AJ. Don’t forget about that. AJ’s not leaving until Shinsuke comes out and faces him. He’s not here for a conversation, he’s here for a fight. Rusev and Aiden English come out and cut a heel promo. Why are they still heel? Seriously? Just listen to the Rusev Day chants instead of turning them down. Aiden issues a challenge on behalf of Rusev and AJ accepts. We got a fast match where AJ got Rusev in the Calf Crusher and then English attacks AJ from behind causing the DQ. As they beat down on AJ, Daniel Bryan comes out to even the odds and fight them off.

In the sole authority clip of the night, Shane and Paige are in the back. Paige does her best Teddy Long impression and makes a Tag Team match playa. Rusev & Aiden English vs AJ Styles & Daniel Bryan for the main event. She then gives a Holla Holla and dances leaves.

Daniel Bryan is walking backstage when Renee Young asks why he helped AJ. He says it was because he respects him. He wanted to prove he hadn’t lost a step and Nakamura ruined that last week. Big Cass then appears and makes small jokes about Daniel.

Rusev & Aiden English vs AJ Styles & Daniel Bryan

Kicked the hair right off his head

In the main event, the 4 guys faced off. There was a long period of the “heels” working over AJ and him not being able to get the tag as it kept getting blocked as he was “fingertips away”. D Bry eventually got the hot tag and did all the moves. As he hit a Running Knee, Nakamura came through the crowd behind AJ who was standing on the apron and hit him right in the dick again. He must have grapefruits the size of melons at this stage.

Big Cass then appeared in the ring and kicked Daniel in the face with a Big Boot. The Crowd chanted “We want Enzo.” No crowd, no, we really really don’t. Nobody wants that. And there needs to be consent. Controversial? Renee asked Nakamura “Why” and does his “No Speak English” line again. It’s a shame that he lost the ability to speak English. We close the show with Big Cass standing tall over Daniel Bryan.

They announced on Social Media afterwards that AJ would defend the WWE Title at the Oil Rumble against Nakamura.

 

‘Mellabration

That’s a whole lotta leopard print

Carmella had her big celebration after winning the Smackdown Women’s Title last week. The ring was all decked out in leopard print. Martina would be proud. She shut down the “You Deserve It” chants straight away by claiming people were just jumping on the bandwagon now. I like that. I’m starting to hate those chants. Carmella said that she is no longer the Princess of Staten Island. She is now the Moonwalking, Trashing Talking, Crown Princess of Smackdown Live. She bragged about beating Charlotte and then showed a video tribute to herself (which conveniently left out all the Ellsworth stuff and the IIconics doing the beating down last week). Carmella lamented over losing Frankie (the briefcase) but now she has Cleopatra (the title). We learn something new. Carmella is not good at naming things.

Charlotte came out and congratulated her for winning the title but says that she has something of hers. The IIconics came out Peyton made a baby impression of Charlotte crying for her bottle. Surely it would be her title? No? We are looking at the future and the future is IIconic. (I know this is text but imagine we are looking a them. Don’t worry, it’s quite a pleasant sight). Charlotte can’t decide who to attack, but chooses to attack the IIconics cause 2 on 1 is always better than 1 on 1. Becky makes the save this week. They must been out of Quinoa in catering.

Charlotte vs Billie Kay

Right in the tatty bojangles

Charlotte vs Billie Kay is made during the break and is already underway when we get back. The crowd were making random chants during this including ones of the Undertaker and Chris Jericho. It wasn’t a bad match so this annoyed me. As we always say, wrestling fans can be both the best and worst part of wrestling. Charlotte wins the match with a Figure 8. Carmella attacks and beats down Charlotte while Peyton keeps Becky at bay. And then Asuka makes the save and is the newest member of Smackdown Live. Yay, Asuka.

 

Shaking up Smackdown

Quick fire round now with the new Smackdown Superstars who have been traded from Raw and how they were introduced.

Big Cass

Already covered above in the AJ segment. Look up.

Asuka

Already covered above in the ‘Mellabration. Look less far up.

Jeff Hardy (with US Title)

♪ ♪ I believe I am high ♪ ♪

Shelton Benjamin came out and is now all singles again. He mentioned how his Twitter got hacked last night and he didn’t send those nice things about Chad Gable. He no longer needs Gable, and he never needed him. Gable was the one that needed Shelton. Shelton says that he’s one of the biggest threats on Smackdown Live now. He asked for some competition, some big competition. And out comes Randy Orton. The crowd goes mild. But wait. His music stops when he’s halfway down the ramp. And here comes new US Champion Jeff Hardy instead. We get Jeff vs Shelton, really fun match, Jeff wins with a Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb. That was some bad matchmaking from Angle on Raw if he knew that Jeff would be going to Smackdown (which Kayfabe, you have to imagine he did know).

The Miz

This one was announced on Raw and The Miz wasn’t at Smackdown this week. He was at home in LA and sent in one of those selfie promos that they love so much. Next week will be the Premiere of The Miz on Smackdown Live.

Samoa Joe

Have I got something in my teeth?

I’d like to point out that these are in no particular order. I think this one was the biggest move to Smackdown. Joe came out as the opponent for Sin Cara. Member Sin Cara? Joe won in a not quite full but still pretty much squash match bu gettin Sin Cara to tap to the Coquina Clutch. Afterwards, he got on the mic and said that Smackdown was not the land of opportunity but the land of handouts. Everybody has had it easy because he wasn’t there until now. He is still going to be facing Roman at Backlash though it seems. He said he’s going to win the IC title at the Oil Rumble and if by some chance Roman wins, he will take the Universal Title too. And we should “Belieee Thaa”.

Absolution (Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville)

We got a graphic on screen to let us know that these two are now Smackdown bound.

Good Brothers (Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows)

We get a video package hyping up the Good Brothers who are also coming to Smackdown Live. No more Balor Club? Please move Finn over too. I can hope, right? Please?

The Bar (Sheamus & Cesaro)

We get a selfie promo with text from the Bar letting us know that they are now Smackdown superstars and putting the Smackdown tag division on notice.

R Truth

The immortal R Truth gets introduced in a backstage promo with The New Day and Tye Dillinger. Tye and Truth have one of those long clapping greetings. Truth thinks this is Raw. When they tell him it’s Smackdown, he says he’ll see them tomorrow.

 

NXT Callups

Also on Smackdown, we get a few more NXT callups. They did all the Raw ones the night after mania but they held some of the Smackdown ones off until this week. I suppose it helps bump up the roster a bit.

The IIconics (Peyton Royce & Billie Kay)

We got this one last week. Read all about it here.

SAnitY (Killian Dain, Eric Young & Alexander Wolfe)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DbB2lk4U0AAowzd.jpg:large

They showed a video package introducing a new team. The package never mentioned SAnitY. It said Chaos Arrives. I’m gonna assume this isn’t going to be a New Japan crossover and since it showed Eric Young in the promo, it’s actually SAnitY… And they cleared it up later with a picture showing the 3 guys. No Nikki Cross though.

Andrade `Cien` Almas` w/ Zelina Vega

Another selfie promo with this one. Vega says some stuff. Almas says some Spanish stuff. Can’t wait for a faceoff between these two against Rusev and Lana at some point.

 

Smacking the Other Bits Up

Tag, you’re it.

  • To further the Tag Title match at the Oil Rumble, Jey Uso took on Harper (no known first name). Rowan tried to get involved but Jimmy stopped him. Harper won with a Discus Clothesline on the apron. Rowan attacked afterwards and Jimmy tried to fight back with a mallet to no avail. BB dominated the Usos and picked up their mallets with evil intentions before Naomi came down screaming at them which stopped them and they left. It seems they respect women. What are they doing going to Jeddah?
  • We get the terrible rap shite about co-branded PPVs again where the WWE Superstars mime to someone else rapping. Why not get them to actually rap? It would have been way better/hilarious. I want to see AJ Styles try to rap, dammit.
  • There was a poster behind Shane in the office for a new WWE book that is out. “The Book of Booty: Shake It. Love It. Never Be It” From WWE’s The New Day. I have no words.

 

Show Synopsis

Decent show. I’m disappointed that Smackdown didn’t get Finn Balor. He would have been perfect for Smackdown. He could actually be a major player. He’ll never get that on Raw while the Shield boys are there. Delighted to see Joe and Miz come over though. Smackdown needed top level heels. For a lot of feuds, basically, this new shakeup isn’t going to fully kick in until after Backlash. We have cross brand matches for both the IC and US titles at the Oil Rumble and Joe vs Roman at Backlash. I’m liking the new roster overall. There are some fresh new feuds that can come out of it. And I never have to watch another Jinder/Orton match again hopefully. They haven’t clarified if that’s still on. I assume Orton/Jeff will be the title match at Backlash now.

 

Smackdown Additions

The Miz
US Champion Jeff Hardy
Absolution (Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville)
Samoa Joe
SAnitY (Killian Dain, Eric Young & Alexander Wolfe)
Big Cass
Asuka
Good Brothers (Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows)
The Bar (Sheamus & Cesaro)
R Truth
Andrade `Cien` Almas w/ Zelina Vega

 

Match Results

AJ Styles def. Rusev by DQ
Jeff Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin by pinfall
Harper def. Jey Uso by pinfall
Samoa Joe def. Sin Cara by submission
Charlotte def. Billie Kay by submission
AJ Styles & Daniel Bryan def. Rusev & Aiden English by DQ

 

The Alleged Wrestling Podcast

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While you’re here, make sure to check out ‘The Alleged Wrestling Podcast’ where we have the craic looking back over the wrestling events of the past week! (It’s also on iTunes and Stitcher and all those nice things)

 

‘What?’ Weekly Wrestling Quiz

Fancy testing your wrestling knowledge, and proving you know more than your friends? Of course you do! Then you should check out our weekly wrestling quiz, posted every Friday. The latest quiz is the first of our Wrestlemania quizzes, and you can check it out here.

 

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About the Author: Nicky Bowe - Junior Executive Vice President of that feeling you get when you are walking alone at night and you're sure there's someone there. Nicky loves Wrestling, Video Games, Batman, General Nerdy Stuff, Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. He likes DDP Yoga and having half a brain. Quite fond of making love at midnight, doesn't need to be in the dune of a cape. If he's the author you are looking for, write to him and escape.

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