The Elimination Chamber is upon us (or No Escape if you live in Germany, there may have been some other chambers in their history, sensitive subject, let’s move on). We have 2, count em, 2 Chamber matches tonight. One for the men, one for the women. We’re making Herstory again guys #FirstEver.
They make cracks at the Corey-Booker thing. It’s dead lads. It was all a work. Give it up.
The Miztourage have lovely Gold Jackets on. The commentary team talk about the chamber instead of the actual match happening. In fairness, it’s a pretty pointless match. The Club win.
After the match, like immediately after the match, the bell rang and straight to this, the Revival have an interview with Mike Rome. They say that these 2 teams were a mockery of tag team wrestling #notmytagteamwrestling
Other highlights of the Preshow if you can call them that was Booker T informing us that the Shucky Ducky Quack Moment will be Ronda signing. So not any of the actual matches.
But the actual highlight was Paul Heyman asking who Peter Rosenberg was
Now we get to the main show and the Chamber is lowering. We’re starting off with the FIRST EVER Women’s Elimination Chamber
It’s the FIRST EVER one. Just in case you didn’t know, the commentary inform us of this regularly. Starting off in the pods are Alexa Bliss, Sasha Banks, Mickie James (minus her usual stupid leg things) and Mandy Rose. Bayley and Sonya Deville start the match off. Bayley comes out with Bayley Buddies. Definitely a way to enter to a brutal chamber match. In fairness, Bayley starts using the cage pretty quickly as an offensive weapon. Also does an Elbow drop to the outside (there is a layer of padding on the outside. Gona are the days of a steel grate).
No. 3 into the Chamber is Mandy Rose. Absolution team up on Bayley with Sonya giving her a double leg takedown on the outside and then they both hook Bayley up in the cage and start beating on her. No.4 to enter is Sasha who comes to Bayley’s aid and fights off absolution. First Eliminated is Mandy Rose, as is tradition. Sasha tapped her out as Bayley held off Sonya.
Mickie James is No. 5 into the Chamber. Her and Bayley end up climbing the cage. Mickie knocks Bayley off and then dives off the top of a pod onto Sonya. She gets the pin from it so Sonya Deville is Eliminated. This is quickly followed up by a Bayley to Belly to Mickie and Mickie James is Eliminated from the match.
Sasha & Bayley wait outside Alexa’s pod waiting for the clock to tick down. The claxon goes off and No. 6 and last to enter the Chamber is Alexa Bliss. Alexa closes the pod, escapes out the other side, climbs her pod and climbs across the big steel pole to above the door of the Chamber. Sasha and Bayley climb the pods either side giving chase Alexa goes back down, so do the other 2. Alexa climbs back up. Sasha catches her on the top of one of the pods. As Sasha is giving Bayley a hand up, she kicks her off the pod, Scar to Mufasa style. #HeelTurn?
Sasha continues being vicious with her attacks on Bayley. Then Sasha ends up in a Tree of Woe and Alexa gives Bayley a Superplex. Sasha follows this up with a Frog Splash on Bayley for a 2 count. Bayley hits a Super Bayley to Belly on Sasha but before she can make the pin, Alexa rolls her up for a 3 count. Bayley is Eliminated.
Alexa pins Sasha for a 2 count. She goes for Twisted Bliss but Sasha gets her knees up. Sasha rolls to the outside, Alexa climbs onto a pod and does a Twisted Bliss to a standing Banks. Sasha counters into a Banks Statement on the outside, then rolls into the ring and cranks it on. Alexa manages to gets out. Sasha goes to climb on a pod but Bliss catches her and hits her with a Hangman DDT from the top rope. Bliss makes the pin and gets the 1,2,3.
After the match, Alexa gives a face promo about how dreams comes through. And then says that none of us will ever accomplish any of our dreams. Oh good, she’s still a heel. She says no-one is better than her. The odds were against her and she still won. She is the One True Goddess of the WWE.
This match was great. Everything made sense and played further into the story. More of this please. This was my match of the night.
Apollo “Name Redacted” still has AC on his tights. What does the C stand for, eh? The Bar attack before bell rings. Apollo dives from the top rope to the outside. The Bell finally rings.
Beachball stuff happens, fuck Las Vegas, enough with this Beakball shit. The Bar isolate Apollo for a good portion of the match. Sheamus jumps from top rope, gets hit with Clash of the Titus. Cesaro breaks it up. Tope from Apollo to The Bar on the outside. Apollo hits a Standing Moonsault but it’s countered with knees. Titus gets thrown into the post which takes him out. Sheamus and Cesaro hit a combo White Noise & jumping uppercut (which Cesaro’s part did nothing at all) to Apollo for the win.
This seemed like quite a throwaway match put in to make up time. I suppose there was some build to it.
We see Nia stomping on an Asuka mask backstage. That’ll teach her. Asuka is wearing a purple thong this time for people that pay attention to that sort of thing.She’s also wearing a curtain tassel. Sure why not? This match is scary. Nia has no regard of Asuka’s wellbeing, legit. She is so reckless in the ring. I genuinely feared for Asuka. She barely made it out of the way of a Banzai Drop. Asuka manages to lock in an Armbar which Nia counters by picking her up and running into the corner. Asuka rolls Nia up for a 3 count for the win.
After the match, Nia attacks Asuka and runs her through the barricade.
Alexa smiles backstage at all of this. She has a promo where she says that no-one is ready for Alexa. She seems to think she will be facing Asuka. Oh you are in for a surprise. We are totally getting Asuka vs Charlotte.
Matt enters the ring. Bray does his Voodoo magic and appears in the ring but Matt is gone and only his jacket remains. We hear a Matt laugh and he sings the song about Bray fading away and classifying himself as obsolete. That seems familiar. Bray does his crabwalk thing and Matt applauds. He tells the WWE UniverseTM to applaud too. Finally, this is the Matt we have been waiting for. And it all goes downhill from there thanks to the terrible Vegas crowd. We get more Beachball shit. We get Rusev Day chants. Matt wins with a Twist of Fate.
They really need to do something with this Woken Matt stuff soon. We need some Hardy Compound promos, some Brother Nero, some Senor Benjamin, something.
Kurt Angle comes out and is followed by HHH & Steph. As HHH is running down Ronda’s accomplishments, the crowd are doing “What?” chants. Seriously, fuck this crowd. Ronda is introduced and makes her way down to the ring. When she gets on the mic, the crowd are split between booing and chanting Ronda Rousey. Says she wouldn’t be here without Roddy Piper. She wants no perks, no special treatment and the contract says that. HHH tells her that when she signs, she will be competing at Wrestlemania, but not in a title match. Ronda says she wants to earn a title shot, not be given one. While Ronda is about to sign,HHH and Kurt chatting in the background. Angle tells Ronda that HHH and Steph are manipulating her.
“3 years in the making and now we own the bitch”. I like this Angle where has he been the last year? HHH explains this away as saying that Kurt has the flu so he’s going to take him to the hospital. Hospital, not Local Medical Facility. As he is leaving, Kurt says one last thing: Steph was saying that Ronda is a Hasbeen and even she can take her.
Ronda gets in Steph’s face with that death stare that she is so good at. HHH gets back in the ring and pulls her back. Ronda then squares up to HHH and puts him through the table. Steph slaps Ronda. The crowd chant “You fucked up”. Steph runs away and Ronda signs the contract.
This was a really good segment. Started slow but the last part was fantastic. Looks like we will be getting the rumoured HHH & Steph vs Kurt & Ronda match. I had no interest in that match before this segment but they sold me on it. Fair play.
We start out with Elias sitting in the chamber with a guitar wearing a big kitchen towel. “This one goes out to me. And I can’t wait to hear it”. He signs a song running down all the other competitors then gets in his Pod. Braun, Cena & Roman enter pods too. Miz, Balor & Rollins start the match. The Miz squares up to Strowman through the pod, he bangs on the pod and scares him. Miz tries to team up with Balor throwing up the Too Sweet. Doesn’t go well for him. Balor and Rollins keep throwing Miz out and just having a little match between themselves.
No. 4 into the match is John Cena. Cena and Rollins face off and shove each other. Cena hits a Double 5 Knuckle Shuffle to Miz and Rollins. Double Superplexes from Cena and Rollins to Balor and Miz. No. 5 into the match is the BIG DAWG Roman Reigns. Roman uppercuts everyone and then the Shield members face off. Miz attacks Reigns from behind.
He then It Kicks everyone in the match. Roman then kills all around him because he’s the BIS DAWG, ruff ruff.
Braun enters No. 6 and Cena and Rollins team up on Strowman. He double suplexes both of them. Strowman then throws Finn into Reigns. Miz climbs the cage to try to escape Strowman. Strowman catches him. Throws him off the top of a pod onto the rest of the guys. Braun hits the Running Powerslam on Miz and Miz is Eliminated.
No. 7 and last out of a pod is Elias. He closes the pod again straight away. The other 4 attack Braun. They hit him with a 4 person Shield-bomb. Strowman kicks out. AA from Cena to Braun. Braun kicks out at 1. Roman spears Strowman, he kicks out. Braun gets Curp Stomped and hit with a Coup De Grace but he rolls to the outside. The other 4 take each other out and Elias finally enters the match. He tries to pin all 4 men but they all kick out. Elias hits a Halo Bomb (Electric chair dropped into a sitout powerbomb) on Reigns, he kicks out. He tries to hit it on Strowman, but he counters into a Running Powerslam and Elias is Eliminated.
Cena tries to dive onto Braun but he gets caught and hit with a Running Powerslam. Cena is Eliminated. Coup De Grace from Balor to Strowman, he kicks out. 1916 from Balor to Rollins, 2 count. Coup De Grace to Reigns and Strowman gets Balor with a Running Powerslam before he can get the pin. Balor is Eliminated. We are now left with The Shield vs Braun. Rollins turns on Reigns while they are throwing Strowman into the chains. Gets met with a Superman punch. Seth Climbs onto a pod and Roman hits Braun with a Samoan Drop. Frog splash from Seth to Braun from the top of the pod. Rollins hits Braun with 2 superkicks, goes for the stomp, but gets Powerslammed by Braun. Rollins is Eliminated.
Reigns and Strowman left. Reigns dives over the top rope to Strowman. Strowman runs through a pod door. 2 Superman punches to Braun. Roman goes for a Spear, blocked. Superman punch. Spear. Spear. 3 count. The BIG DAWG wins.
Strowman attacks Roman after the match. Hits a Running Powerslam on him and throws him through a pod to try to quell the boos that are raining down.
So we have the Mania match that we always assumed we were getting. Brock v Roman was booked a year in advance, but that just means WWE creative had 1 year to write a story that made people excited for it. They failed miserably to do that hence the loud boos again. Will they ever learn? They have their super over babyface right there in Braun Strowman who will be embraced by the crowd. USE HIM!!
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