Well, here I am on Christmas Night writing about the talking points from a Raw episode airing live on said Christmas Night. I’m sure WWE will bring their A-Game tonight. Where is my large box of alcohol?
John Cena comes out to a surprisingly good reception in Chicago. Elias interrupts Big Promo John and tells him that WWE actually stands for Walk With Elias. Marvellous stuff! Elias is sick of being interrupted so decides to cut John off. Elias even shushes Cena! The two embrace the “CM Punk” chants. Cena is unhappy with Elias being negative about Chicago in his music so he asks for an encore where Hobo Macho Man is far nicer. Elias pops John in the mouth and we have ourselves a merry little match.
Its a real shame that Cena is going to win this. Imagine what a win over Cena would do for Elias? Guess what happened? I suppose the story that they attempted to tell is that Cena tried to make Elias tap out but he couldn’t get it done. Cena hit the five moves of doom, 1-2-3, clean in the middle. Oh WWE will you ever learn? How will new stars ever get over if this is what always happens?
Jason Jordan will join Seth Rollins tonight to face The Bar for the Raw Tag Team Championships. Super, we have Shield Bar again tonight. That takes us close to New Year’s Eve for an angle that started on the 24th of July episode of Raw. Oh, you thought it was finished now that Ambrose is injured? No sir! Lil JJ and Rollins beat The Bar to win the titles!
So, The Bar now must get their Title rematch which means this angle will roll over into 2018! Not sure how the hell WWE could allow this to happen. Here’s the worst part: When these guys meet in the Royal Rumble match there will be no extra aggression, they’ll treat each other like any other competitor and do the old corner leg lift spot all night. Rollins will probably throw Sheamus out and then we’ll have a beat down and they’ll need to have a match on Raw the next night. I wonder can they keep this going until July 2018? Vince could get them a cake. No wait!! The Bar will throw the cake at Rollins which will require a match. Look, if this is all wrapped up by July 2019 I guess I’ll take it.
During this weeks Shield Bar announcement General Manager Kurt Angle™ told Roman Reigns that he would have Joe all to himself. That set us up for an Intercontinental Title match between the two, it’s a freakin’ Christmas Miracle!
The match itself was enjoyable as all hell. Roman came out of the blocks flying with a big clothesline. Roman took control of the match early until Joe hit a dive to the outside. This shot Roman into the barrier and he sold the elbow. The match had it’s story from there. I hate these TV matches where it ends in a DQ but here it was great. Roman was disqualified for beating Joe with fists in the corner then shoving the ref out of the way. Roman continued to beat Joe up and it ended with Joe narrowly avoiding a chair shot on the ring post. The sound it made was great. There was an audible gasp from the crowd. This was good stuff. Really looking forward to a Royal Rumble street fight or something like that.
We finally had Bray Wyatt and WOKEN Matt Hardy in the same ring. Bray did his entrance but when the lights went back up Matt was in the ring and attacked Bray in full BROKEN ring gear. Wonderful!
“Last week Kurt Angle told us that we needed to toughen up, and by US he means YOU!” – Rhyno. This was great. Rhyno had Slater booked in a match against Kane. The Big Red Mayor kept beating Slater and throwing him out of the ring. Rhyno would then get Slater hyped back up to go back in. Simple stuff, works a treat. Also, shoutout to the guys in the front row who has the big double team sign that read “Don’t you have Mayor stuff to do?”
John Cena defeated Elias.
Hideo Itami defeated Brian Kendrick.
Absolution defeated Bayley, Sasha Banks and Mickie James.
Kane defeated Heath Slater.
Finn Bálor defeated Curt Hawkins
Cedric Alexander, Akira Tozawa and Mustafa Ali defeated Drew Gulak, Ariya Daivari and Enzo Amore.
Intercontinental Championship Match: Samoa Joe defeated Roman Reigns (c) by DQ
Braun Strowman defeated Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas
Raw Tag Team Championship Match: Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan defeated The Bar. (NEW CHAMPS)